From Teardrops to Rain
by Moonseeker
Summary: Fake or real, a smile is always more beautiful than tears..." AuronxLulu Third in the "Loved You Always" series


From Teardrops to Rain

By Moonseeker

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Final Fantasy X… Sorry. *walks off with hands in pockets*

Author Notes: Wow! Has this series reached three installments already? It seems like almost yesterday that I was logging on to fanfiction.net anxiously to see if anyone had enjoyed my first story. Guess what? THEY LOVED IT! I was amazed, and happy, and… well, look where it's taken me! I now have five stories released for Final Fantasy X and two for Rurouni Kenshin! 

Well, on to other matters, like I remarked earlier, this is the third story in the AuronxLulu saga that began with 'Loved You Always'. Here's a little trivia for ya: I got the title of the first story by combining wits with my close friend. HIYA COURTIE! Well, read and review, but most of all, ENJOY! 

***

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

Excerpt from 'My Immortal' by Evanescence

***

I love the rain.

I always have, ever since I was too small to understand why water fell from the sky. My clothing would become soaked as I stood outside, getting drenched to the skin, chilled to the bone. After a while, I shivered, my body shaking so much sometimes I felt that I would wriggle out of my skin. But I never cared as long as I could experience the wondrous precipitation, and not just watch it from the window of our tiny home. 

Then, I learned what pain was.

The searing, burning sensation, not on my body, but in my heart, that was triggered by the death of my parents. Part of my small soul had been ripped away, never to return to its rightful owner. It was a terrible, hollow feeling, one accompanied by an undying loneliness. For hours I sat in the window, alone, watching the rainfall, my knees clutched close to my chest to cradle my head. 

I found a different type of rain then.

Tears. Always as hot as the hurt that wounded my heart, they wore many paths down my face then. No amount of comfort seemed to help. I was forever alone then, no one by my side. The temple took me in, and I heard their whispers about me, about the 'poor girl'. I refused their help when I could fend for myself, but took it when the only other choice was starving on the beach. 

I learned and grew quickly. I fashioned bonds of friendship with other young people going through the same thing I was. Yuna, a girl few years younger than me, was the daughter of the latest high summoner. She cried bitter tears each day since she arrived with that strange cat-man. Meeting each other was a blessing, for then we did not have to grieve alone.

Wakka was a headstrong boy then, my same age. Swimming and playing blitzball was his specialty, and it occupied almost his entire mind. Always eager to engage in some type of competition, he was certainly the most energetic of all of us. I'll always remember him as a confident young boy, with a blitzball under one arm and a sunny grin pasted on his wide features.

Then, there was Chappu. He was always much quieter and more subdued than his older brother, Wakka, and took on the role of protector for us all. His brown-eyed gaze was always warm; his lips always curved in a brotherly smile. While he was also in to the game of blitz, he didn't have quite as much passion for it as Wakka did. Chappu's interest lied in inventions, even ones that were forbidden by the church of Yevon. 

That would eventually be his downfall.

I can remember the day clearly, even so most the memory of it should have been washed away by tears long ago. We were supposed to be married in two weeks; we were supposed to live our whole lives in the other's embrace. He left one day, as part of the Crusaders, in an effort of defiance against Sin. I'll always remember that he did not bid farewell to Wakka, as they had had a rather large disagreement about the weapons Chappu would be using. I waited for ten days for him to return, which I didn't doubt at all that he would. 

But… Then he didn't.

I rushed out of the house, eager to see him again. Looking over what was left of the group of Crusaders that left a little more than a week ago, I found that his friendly face was no where to be seen. I turned when I felt a hand on my right shoulder. The only words I understood from the stranger were "Chappu" and "Sin", but all I needed to hear was the tone of his voice. Sympathy fell upon my deaf ears, as I some how managed to get back to my home, my head enveloped in a haze. 

I cried more tears then than I had ever seen raindrops fall.

Pain had found me once more.

Now, as I am standing amidst the rain once more, it still hasn't left me. I raise my head, feeling the moisture in the air as well as the growing electritcy for the next lightning strike. As reliable as a summoner on pilgrimage, a flash meets the ground, making the youngest member of our group jump. I have to hide a smile as I watch her cling to Sir Auron's coat, and he pretends to act annoyed. But I know his feelings better than that.

For we are one and the same.

I remember seeing him for the first time, with Lord Braska in Besaid. I was hiding then, behind an empty water barrel by someone's house. My scarlet eyes watched his every move with a fascination I did not understand. As I grew, I labeled it infatuation, for I was sure our paths would never cross. I fell in what I believed to be love with Chappu after our first meeting, but now I understand that it was something different.

When I made my journey over the mighty Gagazet Mountain, I never would have guessed I'd run into him. He looked very different than when I had observed him in secret, more worn and broken. I was alone; he was alone. It wasn't a good thing to be by yourself on that frozen hell, even if you were a very competent fighter. We accepted each other's company for protection, and for solace for our souls, as I would determine later.

I asked questions, and ever full of patience, he would answer. By the time morning dawned, I had found something that left my heart at peace. I felt I had to thank him… So I did.

By telling him I loved him.

The only way I can explain what made me say that would be to try to put words to indescribable feelings. As I watched him disappear down the mountain, I expected never to see him again. Almost ten years passed and my expectations were fulfilled. So, when Chappu proposed to me, I accepted.

And now… Here I was.

Trudging through the torrent of both rain and lightening with my third summoner. Would wonders ever cease? I watch as Rikku jumps once again, her blond hair bobbing with the movement as her delicate features contort into fear because of the lightening strikes. Tidus tries his best to hide a smirk at her behavior, but I am much too perceptive to let any of his thoughts pass undetected. Yuna's mind is muddled, full of worry and doubt; Kimahri's is always closed to me, his thoughts and emotions masked towards all of us. Wakka's open face reveals annoyance and maybe a bit of frustration at the young woman.

"Please, please, please!" I sigh to myself as I hear Rikku plead her case for the fourth time in the past half an hour. "Just a little break, not mu-!" Her begging and groveling is cut off as another strike finds its way to the ground. 

"Hmph. Fine," Auron's brusque manner had seemed to rub off on us all during the last few moments, when Rikku's whining had hit an all time high. I smile a bit as I watch our little group stumble into Rin's inn, which was placed at just the right spot for weary travelers.

I stay outside, wanting to savor the falling rain for a few moments more. I feel the droplets as they hit my skin and slide on a slow trip down the side of my pale face. My fingers reach up and trace their paths, just as more are cut and burned on my cheeks. 

The rain may have made my make up run, but I don't care. It may have soaked my ebony hair through, so it will take literally hours to dry, but I don't care. The bodice of my dress may become damp and cold, but I don't care. For a while, nothing matters but the rain, and the cleansing it brings. 

I feel myself release a choking sob, and then I realize I am crying. My tears mixing in with the raindrops that always promised me freedom and a new tomorrow. For moments they are one and the same; both coursing down my face on the same paths, creating rivers. My clothing becomes so damp I start to shiver a bit. 

Then, lighting strikes nearby, and suddenly I do care about the things I had written off earlier. I smooth my dress, frowning to myself at how wet I had let it become. I long for a mirror to check my make up, sure the color I paint my eyelids with is now covering half of my skin. Another hand shoots up to my hair, and I pull the pins out that had held in place. It falls limply down on my back, only making me even colder. 

I must not have heard the creak of the door opening for I jump in surprise as I feel something being put around my shoulders lightly. Quickly, I recognize the red fabric of Auron's coat, and I cannot keep myself from smirking slightly. We had attracted each other once again. 

"You look much more beautiful when you are smiling," he says, stepping back into the shadows of the building. The flash of lightning provides me with enough light for a second to see him; without the coat, he seemed almost human-like, compared to the god-like untouchable status I associated with him while he was cloaked. 

"Maybe so, but half the time, that smile is for someone else," I reply, not trying to make eye contact with a person who I know always watches me.

"Fake or real, a smile is always more beautiful than tears," he concludes, and steps back inside. I look up at the sky and wonder at what he told me. Just as I taught him a lesson before, at the pond behind the Mi'ihen Highroad hotel, he had taught me, while I was standing soaked through in the rain.

I smile and reach with one hand for the door handle, the other keeping the coat on my shoulders. I know the others will wonder at me wearing it, and I can think of dozens of ways I could embarrass my fellow guardian, none of which will work. But none of that really matters, because… I found something once again, just like upon the mountain. An inner peace working to keep my heart and soul relaxed in this death obsessed world. So, just like his advice, I will smile and….

From now on, I think I'll let the sky shed my tears for me.

Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed this story, and if you would like to read more, rest easy. I already have another story planned for this series. ^_^ I hope this story answered any questions you might have had after reading the first two. I know that Jack of Spades was questioning some of Lulu's actions, so I thought I'd try to explain them. 

And also to Jack of Spades: Your reviews really encouraged me in writing this one, and gave me some ideas for it. Consider this fic dedicated to you. ^_^


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